I’m going to be honest here; I wasn’t very happy to be turning 33. In some areas of my life I am exactly where I thought I would be by now, but in others, I am not.
I always thought that by 33 I would have travelled the world. I would have a successful career earning loads of money and I would be someone important.
Instead I am a stay at home mum.
I never expected to be a SAHM, the plan was always to go back to work. So, to transition from being a successful businesswoman, to being at home has been hard. As silly as it sounds, it has made me feel like a failure. As if I wasn’t doing anything important. Ridiculous I know. Being there to nurture and care for my child is one of the most important jobs I have in life. But it takes some adjusting to.
I always celebrate every success my friends and brother’s have, loudly cheering them on through every graduation or promotion. Sadly, though, I never cheer myself on. I never see myself as having success.
This year, instead of reflecting and being sad for the things that have not yet come to pass, I decided to ask myself, why do I have to judge how successful my life is and has been, based on career, money and travel?
In reality I have been very lucky. In my 33 years I have loved two men, I have suffered heartache and divorce and survived. I have lived overseas, owned a successful business, started a family with the love of my life and have found the courage to follow my dreams.
So what if I haven’t travelled the world yet? So what if right now I don’t have an amazing, successful career? I have something better than that, I have a family. I have friends who are family and love me as I am. There is still time to travel, to build the career that I want. For the first time in my life, I have the chance to follow my dreams. It doesn’t have to all happen right now.
I guess there is immense pressure to achieve what society considers success, but, success is what you make of it. It is achieving that promotion you’ve been working for. It is buying your first home. It is raising a healthy and happy child. It is being happy; and in this area I am successful.
My birthday and new years’ resolution is too stop measuring my success on what has become the societal standard and instead measure my success on what I determine. I will celebrate every small goal I reach, and be happy in the knowledge that although I’m not a high flying important business woman, I am important to my little world.
Bec C Tscheresch